Lost my way, Lost myself

I pushed myself beyond limits. I sacrificed the thing I want most. I kept asking myself why that decision. There are no answers for my question but it begged for more questions. I was confused and others’ opinions are just maddeningly unhelpful for I understand myself best. However the best I can understand myself is not to understand myself at all. To find my forte is never assured but discovering something new about me, that’s dead certain. Not only I’ve discovered something new about me, I’ve discovered a new me. With that, I forgot my past and I’m not feeling comfortable.

I’m like on a street that runs both ways. I'm walking towards one end but the terrain was rough with sharp-edged rocks and there’s no telling what is to come. Somehow my heart tells me that the thing I want most is somewhere at the opposite end. It was the thing that kept me going, the thing that drove me but now I went way off the course. I’d choose to turn back but what if it disappears before I could even come close? Now would you guys excuse me, I just need some alone time. Sigh.